Tuesday, November 28, 2006

No Sleep But Still Going

After a night of no sleep due to the weather conditions (snow and wind), I attempted to get out for work through the day labor agency, but with no success. With a day that was to be filled with snow again, many construction sites closed or cut back their workforce for the day. This was day 2 without work, but all was not lost. I talked with the main job dispatcher and she stated that it was good to see me back and not to worry, a work assignment will be awaiting for me in the morning.

Most work through this agency is in Park City, which is a ski resort area and now buried beneath 2-3 feet of snow, so you can guess what I'll be doing. I didn't have the right clothes for being outside in the elements for scooping snow, so off I went on another panhandling adventure. This time people were much more accepting of my situation. After about 4 hours I had received a great winter jacket, plenty of warm smiles and greetings, prayers, Taco Bell burritos and tacos (stood near Taco Bell),a warm blanket to use with my cold sleeping bag (will be put to use tonight) and a wonderful donation from a 10-13 year old boy.

The young boy's gift just floored me, and once again the water started to roll from my eyes. When he handed me the money, I thanked and wished him happy holidays, while also acknowledging the two adults with him. One of the adults stated, "The gift is from my boy and it is he's money and idea". Wow, I have such admiration for this child and I'm sure the Lord had a smile from ear to ear.

The day was a success in preparing for tomorrow's work, and I owe it all to God for delivering everything that was needed. This was a real lesson once again in trusting in the Lord for exactly what the situation required.

I stated before that I wouldn't be likely to panhandle again, but the need was there and I felt more comfortable about it today. God had put me to this test to see how I would react. Again I handed nearly every person who helped a slip of paper thanking them and inviting them to this blog. I didn't count how many I printed up, but when I handed the last slip out everything I needed was at my side, when I realize what just had happened a tingle ran throughout my body.

I want to thank everyone who trusted me and helped me out today, you were my love from God.

I say, " Praise you Lord, because this day just strengthened by love and faith in you 10 fold."

Today is Day 10 in The Purpose Driven Life, and the topic was "The Heart of Worship". The opening sentence is "The heart of worship is surrender". The first words that came to mind were; losing, unsuccessful, and defeat. I thought, "Man, surrendering is just giving up and watching your opponent take all of the glory and the trophy." then it came to me, "Hey, now wait a minute, that last thought did have part of what God was expecting me to do".

God wants us to surrender our self seeking and satisfying ways to become our true selves and allowing Him all of the Glory. We can do this by being obedient to God and doing what is ask of ourselves.

Well, this is one thing I thought I'd never be able to do, but yet, today it is exactly what I'm doing. I may be homeless but my life is beginning to have some meaning to it.

I always had the belief of being at the center of attention and needing to stay there, but lately by putting God there it has taken a huge load off of me and actually relaxed me.

Today I say, "Go ahead God take all of me because I'm yours. I no longer want control of this vessel, it's all up to you. I tried it my way and it didn't work!"

I need to grab some zzzzzzzzzzzzzz's before I hit the keyboard with my head.

My Song of The Day

Mercyme puts it just like it is with me, "So Long Self".

Monday, November 27, 2006

A Plan To Give Back

After my day of panhandling with a sign, I have been working on an idea to give back to the homeless community and share my new found path with Jesus. As we all know sign holding is normally associated with panhandling, so, why not instill an atmosphere of dignity by owning your own business while showing them a new path and purpose in life through Jesus.

Sandwich board and hand held signs are an old age form of marketing that is still viable today, and it is a low cost start-up. I need to research by testing the waters myself, but I feel this may be an opportunity to give back while introducing or re-introducing Jesus to other needy people.

I've already set-up a website as a beginning foundation, along with a rough draft business plan. I hope to start this test market by late next week or as soon as I raise enough capital to build a sandwich board and pay for an advertising sheet to Velcro to it. You can check out this idea and business plan at New Path Marketing.

Today's reading of The Purpose Driven Life, Day 9,"What Makes God Smile?" helped me to confirm my stronger relationship with God and my true trust and love for Him. This reading actually goes along with what I started to build today.

I've felt for a long time that I was destined to work with those who are homeless and today I started the New Path Marketing groundwork based on my trust and faith in God, that He will direct me and furnish the necessary tools to accomplish this new feat. This is my Ark, that I'm building out of respect and love of God and giving thanks for my new found life. By building this "boat" to pass on His word, I feel that He's smiling.

We can't just have faith but we need to also do some work as stated in James 2:24 "You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone."

The question is, "How much pleasure is God getting from my life?" Not, "What pleasure am I obtaining?"

My Music of The Day

Jeremy Camp puts it very truthfully by asking "Would you take the place of this man?", in his song This Man. This video is artfully done with a clip from "The Passion of Christ" by a youtuber.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

A Few Moments of Panhandling

With the upcoming storm here in Salt Lake City, I was in need of some winter gear so that I would be able to work outside and to be somewhat comfortable staying outside. After the 12:30 message at K2 The Church, I went to the shopping plaza near Sugar House Park, where I put together a sign and stood near an entrance to the parking lot. On the sign it stated:

Any Help

Winter Boots
Sleeping Bag
Thank You

This was a real experience for me and an eye-opener. Before I even started to hold the sign I prayed that I would receive the items that I needed and during my stand I thought to myself, "If God wants me to have it, then it will happen". Well, I was blessed! After 4 hours, I received enough to buy a pair of good thermal winter boots and thermal socks. I didn't get the sleeping bag, but felt God had a reason for this. One gentleman came by with a box full of thermal underwear and enough socks for a couple of weeks, along with other warm clothing. After this person left me with the box, I had to stop and take a long breath and wipe the water from my eyes, I just couldn't believe what was happening.

The day wasn't full of blessings, it also had it's moments of disgusted looks, people saying; "Yea, right, he isn't homeless", along with other quotes I'll refrain from listing here.

I watched as those with the big expensive objects drove by with disgusted looks on their face and pretend that I wasn't even there. Some people would smile and that was great to me, because, yes they recognized me which made me feel like I was human.

To each person (except one, when I lost the paper) that gave, I handed a paper thanking them and inviting them to this blog, if you are one of those who received this I say, "Thank you very much for giving, trusting and believing. I invite each one of you into my life on this journey I've started, and you all will be in my prayers tonight".

Will I ever hold a sign like this again? I truly believe that this is the one and only time that I will ever need to do this. And I pray that I'll never be in this situation again where as last resort it is needed.

Today was also Day 8 in my reading of "The Purpose Driven Life". This chapter, "Planned For God's Pleasure", really fit me to a tee today, and was one that I'll always remember.

Bringing pleasure to God is called "Worship", and it doesn't just pertain to singing and music. Worship is anything that you do to please and give glory to God. This could be helping at your church's service, working at your daily job, sharing a smile with a homeless person, or helping your neighbor. Anything that you do to bring pleasure to God is an act of worship.

Well today I felt I brought pleasure to God by trusting in Him to deliver the items I needed for work and staying warm. I didn't look back at those who gave me those unpleasing gestures or stares with the same or worse gesture or stare. I didn't come out with any words of disregard to those who openly suggested where to go. Today, so far I feel I've pleasured God by being truthful, open, warm and, well, just what He expected me to be.

My Music of The Day

A real quick quote from "The Purpose Driven Life" reading today; pg.65

"God loves all kinds of music because he invented it all-fast and slow, loud and soft, old and new. You probably don't like it all, but God does! If it is offered to God in spirit and truth, it is an act of worship."

This song from Waking Ashland goes right along with where my thinking has been for the last two weeks. "All Hands On Deck" will remain close to me for along time to come.

Buy Waking Ashland Music

Saturday, November 25, 2006

From Homeless To Millionare

Wow, what a success story, here is a lady who once was homeless with her daugher, who designed a jewelry pin that became an icon for raising money for the homeless. The homeless millionare story may raise the hope for some but without God, blessings like these are meaningless.

Homeless With Meaning

Many may ask, "How can your life have meaning if you're homeless"? In my case it's possible. Throughout my life I've wander about with no purpose no direction, trying to be accepted through self glorified achievements. Today on this refreshing new journey with God in my sight, I see a whole new meaning to my life and life in general. I've taken the view that, as stated in Rick Warren's, "The Purpose Driven Life", It's not about you.

Yes, it's not about me.

Did I put myself in this homeless situation? Yes and no. I believe that there is a purpose for me being homeless. During this time I can learn how to relate to other homeless people and share this new journey I'm on, so that they may also change their paths and begin a new life with Jesus. Each day I'm learning from others who are homeless by listening to where they're at and their stories and not trying to bring my homeless story to the center ring. It's like a mirror, where I see my old ways of living without God in my life. The self-centered, self seeking, and it's all your fault attitude.

Will I be working with the homeless in the future? I'm not sure, but I do believe that homelessness will play an important part of me for the rest of my days on earth. This thought is actually giving some meaning to being homeless and a new direction. Each day I strive to do what the Lord wills me to do and work on becoming a more faithful servant to God.

Day 7 in "The Purpose Driven Life" is about "The Reason For Living" and in a nut shell I have explained some of this above. It's all about God and glorifying Him. We are intended to worship, praise, sing and pray to God, but we are also expected to enjoy, love and give ourselves to Him for our intended purpose.

Working on not being self-centered and living a life for God is going to require discipline for me and sacrificing my self gratification ways. I'll need to change everything in my life, and top priority will be my priorities. Today I'm at that fork in the road. Do I take the road to fulfilling my purpose by bringing glory to God, or will I choose my old self seeking ways and live that easy self-centered life?

Today I choose to work on bringing that glory to God, so that I may one day enter into the Kingdom of eternal life. My life has meaning, purpose and now a new found happiness.

Last night was way cool for me. During the hike to my camp, I had to stop and relish the lights in the valley. The new glasses I received yesterday are so awesome. I was able to see christmas lights, stars, the milky way, trees with limbs and the mountains were actually defined. If you can see it in your heart, please pray that I will be protected and warm during next week's expected extreme cold spell and snow.

Music of The Day

Audio Adrenaline has been around for 15+ years and they keep on producing great christian hits. In this video "Rejoice", Ben, travels the US and asks people "What makes you rejoice"? A few of them actually have the answer.

WebsiteAudio Adrenaline
Buy Audio Adrenaline Music

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Homeless Life With Purpose

Yea, its neat to have my glasses, I've hiked around just enjoying views of God's creations. My reading in The Purpose Driven life has take me to Day 6. The last 3 chapters has been about:

Day 4: "Made to Last Forever" This is a point in my life that I never really looked at. I was always just living today as it may be my last and I had to make everyone like me and my accomplishments. Well, this chapter along with the next two is having me re-establish my outlook on life in the fact that this is just a brief moment of my life. God has intended for my life here on earth to only be brief, and for it to be a test for the upcoming greatness of eternal life. I always was thinking that when I die its over and I'll just go maybe to heaven or most likely hell. Now, each chance I get, I reflect on this chapter that I'm going to live forever and only briefly here.

Day 5: "Seeing Life From God's View" I really need to grasp a hold of this chapter as He is actually testing me during my stay here on this world. I need to work on being trusted with the resources and opportunities that God provides me. I also need to realize that every material possession is just loaned to us from God and He is trusting us with them.

Well, with my past of spending money quick and losing my possessions I guess He'll not be trusting me with much for some time to come. This is exactly what I really need to work on, TRUST.

Day 6: "Life is A Temporary Assignment" Throughout all my life I knew life was short, but I didn't realize that God intended for me to only be here for a short time before going to my real home. So, my life in the "Big House" is all dependant upon how I choose to take care of what God has loaned to me here and now. It's time for me to be faithful to God and not to focus on temporary crowns. I need to look at the bigger picture that if I'm faithful during this test, I'll be going to where all things are glorious and the moments of happiness are GRAND.

Music of The Day

My music of the day comes from Tree63, a young moving new christian rock band. I may be homeless but this song and what I've been learning is putting a smile on my face today as I walk through this wonderful journey to a purpose in life.


Website Tree63
Buy Tree63 Music

Give the gift of sight!

Today I received my new glasses thanks to the Salt Lake City Lions Club and the Luxottica Group Foundation program "Give the Gift of Sight". This new sight brings a brighter, clearer and smiling vision to my life. "Give the Gift of Sight" is not only instrumental in bringing vision to the needy in the US, but their larger mission is providing vision for third world countries. I suggest if you have old glasses to drop them off at a "Give the Gift of Sight" location or you may donate at "Give the Gift of Sight" , or cotact your local Lions Club.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving

I won't be able to share Day 4 or The Purpose Driven Life today but will do so on Friday along with Day 5 & 6. I'm off for a vision exam and then to a Thanksgiving meal. Tomorrow I'll attend a meal served at the Hard Rock Cafe here in Salt Lake City. Yea, I'm going to be able to see all of those guitars. I thank those who are serving the needy during this holiday time and pray that many will come to know God as I have.

Vision Is On Its Way

I received great news today that I'll be receiving new eyeglasses from the Salt Lake City Lions Club. I've set up an appointment for an exam later today and God willing I may have my vision back. It will be so great to be able to focus on my surroundings and enjoy one of God's greatest creation, the world which we live in.

Day four of The Purpose Driven Life is "Made to Last Forever" and I'm just starting to read it. When I finish I'll come back and discuss my experience with this chapter.

Today I've chosen a very popular song with all christians and it remains on the top of Billboard's christian music charts. This video is of Chris Tomlin singing"Made to Worship", is from the Passion 2006 concert, and just goes to show why Time magazine printed an article "Hip Hymns Are Him", everyone loves to sing his songs. I'm sure he'll be at the top of the christian pop charts for a long time.

Website Chris Tomlin

Buy Chris Tomlin Music

More Christian Rock Videos

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

What Drives Your Life?

The 3 day in The Purpose Driven Life is asking me what my life is currently driven by. When I stop and view where I'm at and how I got here, I think "Man, you've been wandering around just trying to please and impress everyone around you". My life has always been about gaining approval from everyone, even those who I didn't know. As it says in Matthew 6:24 - "No one can serve two masters".

Who am I fooling when I thought I could please everyone? It is God that I need to please because He is the one that will be judging me. This chapter was asking me what I've known for sometime now, but never knew or had the strength to change it.

I'm looking forward to getting on with the book but I'll do as it asks and take it one day and chapter at a time. Hey, kinda like AA. I've already started to narrow down the things in my life that are actually pushing me to the insane edge and have started to focus on this new journey with God.

I've been working on learning website publishing and have taken it to include a site with christian rock videos called what else "God Rock Videos". Yea, I like rock and it's a great way for me to focus and get through my day. Hope you get a chance to visit it.

Tomorrow I think there is a dinner at the Utah Jazz's basketball venue the formally known as the Delta Center, which has changed to the EnergySolutions Arena that I'll try to visit. Throughout the next couple of days the thanksgiving feasts for the needy are bountiful.

Homeless But Not Lost

Today is one of my down and depressed days, feeling lonely and unloved. The one who is showing me love and guiding me through this day, God, is giving me the strength to pick up my head and continue on this journey. I really don't know where this path is leading me, but as long as I have the Lord, I will not get lost.

Today will be Day 3 in The Purpose Driven Life and I hope to post about it later. Last night I spent 2 hours reading John and soaking up what I had read before and never took to heart. This time I could actually visualize some of the passages and was able to connect with them. It actually put a smile on my face to know that He is showing me the way and I'm willing to accept it this time around.

I have been watching the weather each day, so I can prepare for any rain or snow. The last few days they've predicted no precip for atleast 10 days. Well today low and behold, the forecast for Turkey Day is rain and then turning colder with snow expected early next week. It looks like I'll need to find some kind of protection besides the leaky tarp I now have. I spotted a dumpster yesterday with loads of plastic sheets in it, I hope that when I find it today that the plastic is still there.

Digging around for new music today I came accross a video from John William Schlitt. This guy had played with (I'm dating myself.) a band in the 70's called Head East. (The Head East era was well known to me because one of the back-up vocals, Dale Krantz-Rossington, went to school just down the road from me in Indiana.) He then went onto a well known christian band in 1986 called Petra. It's so awesome to see the old rockers that changed their ways. John's song "Show Me The Way" is really fitting for may day. I hope you enjoy it.

This You Tube thing rocks.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Hmmm, I'm Not An Accident

The second day in The Purpose Driven Life, You Are Not An Accident, is an eyeopener for me. Many times throughout the years I had contemplated that I was never met to be here. After my mother had left me and took my brother with her when I was 4, and when asking questions why, I received the shrug. Struggling with addictions, depression and emotional confusion, I had believed I actually was not suppose to be here on earth.

In the past couple of years friends have been trying to explain that God has a purpose for me, but it had been hard to comprehend. The toughest part was Love, and loving myself and God. I truly didn't know what love was. After many years of never being told or even hearing the word love, the word had no meaning. I read 1 John 4:8 "Who ever does not love does not know God, because God is love." and it confirms the main reason why I couldn't love anyone or myself.

During the last few years of my life, I have been wandering with no purpose. I had thought that I had to make everyone happy and to like me, which caused me to be untruthful many times. I felt that I needed to accomplish every goal I had set, and that if I didn't I was a failure. Man, I was just setting myself up for failure. Now, I'm trying each day to live for what God wants me to do, and not for what I think everyone expects me to do. It's a tough change and will take some time, but each day I use this concept, it becomes easier.

God guides his leadership

Man, I almost forgot. Another great story in the USA Today was concerning the Salvation Army's chief on a mission and who guides him on his leadership. It was a unique article in the Executive Suite USA Today Money section. If only many executives would take heed to the words of wisdom spoken by Israel Gaither about how to avoid scandals. Does Enron come to mind?

Gaither begins each day with a prayer.

Our Giving Lord

Each night I walk to my camp above the Salt Lake valley, this walk would normally take 15-20 minutes, but for me 45-60 minutes. Why? This is my time to pray for the many who are need of prayer, the homeless, the sick, our troops throughout the world, and the people who I cross paths with during the day. I turn many times to view the lights down below (they all blend together without glasses) and sometimes think how lucky they all are, but now that thinking is turning to, "How grateful I am to have God as my guide."

I've been in the need for some glasses for sometime and was guided to the local Lions Club. I went to the Moran Eye Center located near my camp and was given a phone number to contact. After talking with a couple of people over the last week, I finally returned to the center explaining what I was encountering. Dee, a very helpful person at the front desk directed me to Cathy today, and you know, I'm on my way to receiving new glasses. Thank you Lord for those who are at the Lions Club and for all the work they do.

I had a neat conversation with Cathy (Lions Club), who was intrigued by how I became homeless. When most of the homeless or those less fortunate deal with organizations or needed services, they are sometimes just treated as another number and passed along. It was a pleasure to have someone interested in in my story and it gave me a since of being. I also got to share a little about what K2 The Church is about.

There is an interesting story in the USA Today about US food banks struggles for food demand. I was shocked to learn that in the last 5 years the value of federal help, in food and cash, given to US food banks has been cut in half. In 2001 food banks received $ 418.4 million and it is estimated that they will receive $201.2 million during 2006. Private cash contributions have also fallen considerably. So, if you can donate food or cash to your local food bank, I'm sure they would certainly appreciate it.

A great tribute to those who have and are defending our country on one of those sometimes unsightly graffiti filled boulders is in rural Iowa. Thanks for sharing it with us snogdot.

I'll be posting my 2nd day in my reading of The Purpose Driven Life later on today.

My song for today is The One Great Spirit from Spirit Highway.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Real Soccer Team Helping Needy

My hat goes off to the Salt Lake City Real soccer team , who is participating in several goodwill programs aimed at the homeless and needy.

I'm not a big soccer fan, but hey its great to see them become involved in the community by supporting those who are truly in need. I just wished that all of the help and attention that the homeless receive during the holidays wouldn't just disappear after the first of the year.

One last try at delivering a song for the day and I'm choosing my favorite local band "The Rock Church Band" and their song Lay Me Down.

DSL Website Up

Well I accomplished getting my DSL Rates site up tonight but it's still has a ways to go. I had the html work done for the past couple of weeks, now I need to bring it up to date with a new plug in for the quotes, which will keep the vistors at my site versus going to my affiliate site. Oh well, it's just something to kick around and play with until I can afford to get serious with it.

Okay, I'm off to get in my 2nd day in A Purpose Driven Life. It is cool I found another person, Jannalou, who is currently going through this book. You can find her views on it at her site "In the mist of becoming...". It's kinda cool to hear another persons perspective.

Sweep It Under The Rug

Well today I attended K2 The Church 12:30 service with the main intention to speak with Andy Marshall, the director of spiritual growth. Today's message "Sweep It Under The Rug" was the 3rd in the 4 part series "Wrecking Your Relationships In 4 Easy Steps". I had already listened to the first part yesterday, and I'll be listening to the 2nd part tonight, however I wasn't prepared for what Andy spoke about today. It really hit hard and tied right into what I had planned to talk to a him about.


Yea, being truthful with each other, spouses, friends, or in my case, God and myself. At the end of the service I waited while Andy talked with a few members, and as I watched it gave me a chance to reflect on what I was about to do. Last night I had decided that it was time to set up a time to set down with a pastor (I had Andy in mind.) and start working on doing what God has intended me to do. Well after 2+ years of having said I was going to do it, I actually took the first step today and told Andy that I was ready to go to work, and that I needed to get truthful with God and myself. YES!!! I said it. I didn't back out while waiting to talk with Andy, and say to myself, "Oh well, I'll speak to him next week, or next time." Who knows there may never be a next time.

I have so many things that I have swept under the rug during my 47 years on this globe. So I hope Andy will have a few hours (days, months, years???) to set down and discuss what I need to do and how I can go about doing it. I also need to repent for the many things I've done in the past (This would be a huge load off of my back.). I'll be setting up an time to meet with Andy and only can pray that it will be soon.

Ah yea, I got a NIV bible today, so now I can put it to use with A Purpose Driven Life and just for reading when I once read autobiographies of successful business people. Hey why not be studying how to become a successful servant of God, right?

Okay, my music files are not loading (sorry) and I'll be looking for a new FREE file sharing site that has more than 30mb of storage. During this time try CNET for free christian music MP3 downloads.

I'm going to work on setting up a new website on a free server today. The site will be for DSL rate quotes and I hope to have it up by late tonight. So off I go.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Lost Music in a Lost Day

Yep, the file hosting site I was using for my music files cut me off. I used to much bandwidth, now they want the green backs. Oh well, just went to another until I can get my own hosting. I've had to change all of the links here for music, so if there is a problem downloading a MP3 please let me know. In the mean time I look at todays accomplishments and find it was pretty much a loss, except for my reading in A Purpose Driven Life.

I will be attending service tomorrow at K2 The Church. This is a fast growing church that was first established in Michigan (Go Tigers and Lions) and has had a rapid growth here is Salt Lake City. Luther Elliss, who was a great defensive tackle for the Detroit Lions, was instrumental in bringing this church here. I have attended a few services in the past, but not with my new outlook and faith in God. I hope to obtain a NIV bible there tomorrow.

I'll end tonight with a country song for Snog Dot and Thomas from Jerry Corelli called The Rock. Yea, I do listen to country (sometimes). This guy is a hero in my book. Back in 1992 Jerry brought a 5 year old girl back to life after he had found her being strangled by a stranger. You can read the account of this here.

A Purpose in 40 Days?

I found a book that friends had given to me last year, A Purpose Driven Life, written by Rick Warren. I have never put forth the effort to actually read and utilize this book in the past, but as of today and with God's help, I will commit the next 40 days of my life to discovering God's purpose for my life. Each day I will share this journey here.

Today's the start and the first sentence is probably the most important one in life, "It's not about you." Yes, we are here for Him and it isn't all about Scott. This is a thought that I will ponder on today. It has always been, "What will I get out of this?" Changing my ways to put God's way first is a whole different outlook and I'm sure it will take some time, but hey doing it my way sure didn't work.

I hope to be adding some cartoons here from an artist Jeff Larson and The Back Pew. Jeff does some great work so check the site out.

My song of the day is from Steele Croswhite and The Rock Church Band. They are from here in Salt Lake City and you can hear them at The Rock Church on some nights. The song Completely is very fitting for me today. If you visit The Rock Church or buy a CD, let them know that homeless Scott sent ya.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The Sadness of Many

Tonight I read blogs and news articles about homelessness and found the thoughts of many throughout our world and nation are of corrupt and greed. Take the money that will be made on the PS3s, I'm sure these profiteers won't be handing out checks to homeless organizations. Those in Dallas who believe the CityWalk@Akard program will bring down the value of their properties and lifestyle. Are there not those with money who also can bring value and destruction down on human life?

Here enters my song for the day from a band in Crowley, LA, The Park Avenue Band is singing one of the greatest hymns I Cry Holy. This brings a chill to me as He reaches out and touches me tonight. Yes, I guess you can say the tears are rolling tonight. Is it happiness or sadness? Well one person knows and He is there for me tonight. Oh yea, I Cry Holy!

PS3 And The Homeless

What does the new upcoming release of PlayStation 3 (PS3) and the homeless have in common? What else $$$$$$money. Homeless people in North Carolina are being hired at $100 per day to stand in line for a new PS3.

Chugging Away

Another great sleep after staying up late. I received an reply from the outdoor gear company I had emailed yesterday about used gear. They don't donate on individual cases but do work with local organization, which is cool. Keep up the great work Black Diamond.

To snog dot, Thanks for the comment an email is on its way.

I'm working on a couple of resumes today along with an email to a local company for a customer service job. My goal is to find steady employment by the end of the month. If you could include this in your prayers, I would be very grateful.

Back to working on the resumes.

Keeping the smile on that God gives us, it feels so good.

The Pursuit of Happyness

No misspelling here, it appears like this on the book and the movie. The Pursuit of Happyness is a story about Chris Gardner who went from rags to riches. Yea here is a guy who was living in shelters and homeless who achieved the dreams that many Americans have. The movie stars Will Smith set to be released on 12/15 looks to be a top box office hit during the holidays. (The Pursuit of Happyness trailer)The Book came out in June and is the top of the many readers must read list.

Yea, I know its late but having a hard time sleeping tonight. My mind is racing 5000 mph about what I need to do and surfing on the net soothes it. Me, I don't expect to be like Chris Gardner, but the riches I may see is bringing happyness to others who are homeless also. I spent some time tonight reading some blogs and news articles, it sure is sad to see that it takes natural disasters, new residential areas, new parks or malls to bring the homeless to the forefront. Most people just put on the blinders and go about their own merry way.

I've also been working on my website developing skills tonight. It is something that I've taken an interest in during the last few years along with the telecom industry. I see a few guys who are also homeless hanging around at the university, but most only use the Internet for games or movies. Man, what a waste. During the past couple of months they cracked down on them, so I no longer see them using the computers. I hope to put together a network of telecom sites by the end of January if that is what God has planned for me.

Well I've hit the wall and its time to wander up the mountain to camp. Oh yea, I also emailed a local outdoor gear company asking for a shelter (bivy or tent) donation so I may stay outside during the next couple of months. Hey it doesn't hurt to ask. Right?

Good-night and God Bless

Thursday, November 16, 2006

All In A Day With Him

Ahhhh, what a refreshing day! A day of accomplishments and some peace of mind. A new social security card on the way, a recommendation for new eyeglasses from the local Lions Club, a job interview tomorrow, and a relaxed mind. Yes. Yes! YESSS!! All of this is happening because I've put it in His hands not mine.

"The Lord Thunders" is what Steele Croswhite sings in his song Thunders. I'm not sure what verse it comes from but I beleive its in Psalms somewhere. This song is awesome and pumps me up!

Hey Thomas, it may not be Garth but it sure gets me going.

I'll be on a mission tomorrow to find a NIV bible, so I may start to meditate on it throughout the day and night as it states in Joshua 1:8. The job interview is in the afternoon and even if I don't get it atleast its a step in the right direction.

My only fear is fear itself and failure to accomplish what the Lord has in store for me. I pray that these feelings that I'm experiencing don't ever go away, its great to be able to smile, walk and talk with others without believing I'm such a failure.

I've been a Detroit Tiger fan since I can remember, and never gave up on them even 3 years ago when they lost 119 games, this is the same faith that God has in me. He never gave up on me, and has always been supportive of me even when I was the lowest of the low. Now its time for me to put the faith back into Him and do as he wishes. Getting my life back together is not going to happen overnight, but as Will Smith stated in Readers Digest this month: "I do not have to build a perfect wall today. I just have to lay a perfect brick. Just lay one brick, dude."

Walking To A Different Beat

The freshness of being clean, YES! Now to work on cleaning up the rest of this worn and torn soul. I had one of the best nights of rest last night even with the ice on my sleeping bag, sure hope it drys out today. I'm working on trying to get a pair of glasses so I may see my surroundings without the blur. I was recommended to the Lions Club and will be contacting them today concerning a new pair of specs.

I have been listening to a local christian rock band today "The Rock Church Band" and its been great, the song Walk On Water will be stuck in my head today while I walk through this day of life.

Until later on, may you have a Great Day!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Letting Him Lead the Way

Today was a real test from God. He tested my patience and my will to stand tall and work for what He intends me to have.

I accomplished more today than in the past few months. After leaving my safe spot at the university library, I was able to retrieve my mail which included my new state ID card (the other was lost) and a small check from a Internet phone service sale that was made back in August. With the $$ I went on a mission to purchase a cell phone charger which will help me in my search for a job.

Oh yea, as I had stated yesterday, I've had a change of direction. I believe God wants me to stay on here in Salt Lake City to start working on what He has planned for me. I'm not sure what it is He has in mind for me but I will leave it up to Him, while I continue on working to put my life in order.

Back to the phone charger mission, I went to the Cingular store where I purchased the phone, and was told they had no chargers for a Sony Ericson but a store a few blocks away did. I grabbed the train and went to pick it up, but low and behold I was told the same story at this Cingular store. The clerk told me my best option was the Radio Shack around the corner. Yes this is where God was trying my patience. I asked the clerk why sell the phone if you don't carry the accessories and was told "I'm not sure why." Off I go to the Radio Shack, another wild goose chase, and I found a huge brick of a charger, the iGO, that you purchase plus you need to buy an adapter to fit your phone (total $40). I returned to the 2nd Cingular store and ask if they would please find me a proper charger for me. One phone call and 30 seconds later this clerk had me on my way back to just a block from the 1st Cingular store.

By this time I'm getting upset and tired from carrying my backpack full of dirty laundry. I walked back to this small repair shop and the guy had a sony ericson knockoff charger. Oh well, it was only $15, a $25 savings. YES! I just hope it will last until I'm able to afford a regular cell phone plan instead of my current pre-paid plan.

It was now 5pm and I needed to do the stinky and mildewy laundry. After 2 hours of watching and waiting for the washer and dryer to stop I had fresh smelling clothes. COOL! Now all I need is a good old scrubbing myself.

I will be going to the University eye clinic tomorrow to see if they have any donated glasses that may help my vision. The trees currently all look like huge shrubs without limbs. I also will work on getting my social security card replaced and will go to an AA meeting.

It has been cool, that God has been showing me a new path and the courage to start walking down it. I'm sure He has some kind of employment in mind for me so I'll be keeping my ears open to what He tells me.

Tonight I found a great little java script that will enable you to have a daily bible verse on your blog or website from Lord of Hosts Verse of the Day . You can see what one of their scripts look like at the top of this blog index. Another great option is that you can also get the verse of the day on your mobile phone.

Man, I'm whip and need to go take a shower, after which I'll climb the hill to my camp and damp sleeping bag to grab a good nights rest.

Thank you Lord!

From Homeless to Crack Motel

When moving off the streets many people are faced with living in what is called crack motels. These weekly rentals are sometimes the way to getting off the street, and it may be an option for me when I get enough money (Forgetaboutit!). I found an interesting video today that has nothing to do with what is going on in my life recovery but alot to do with what I hear each day in my head. It's called "Weekly Rate Motel Sounds" .

I've lived in them before when I was on the crack (6 years ago) and hope that I never set foot in one again. Each of these Crack Motels are havens for drug users, prostitution and other crime related persons, but some who may live in them do survive the conditions and go on to lead normal lives. Please Lord, I need a safe place to start this new life.

Cold Homeless Night

Wow what a cold night last night. The temps dropped into the low 20's and I spent the night without a sleeping bag. I was only out in it for about 4 hours but it was a real BRRRRR!

I haven't received a response from either of the Seattle programs I contacted, but that may take some time. I did receive an email from a old AA buddy who was concerned about my well being. Is that a work of God?

I will work on getting myself to a AA meeting this week even though I despise them.

My main concern is becoming well and having a chance to visit my grandparents soon. They rasied me from the age of 4 and they're in their 90's. The last I talked with them (last week), my granny was unable to hear me on the phone and my grandfather was having a hard time remembering much. I know that time is short and being able to see them before they pass on is of great concern to me. I haven't seen them in 7 years. (that hurts)

I will be going to check my mail today and try to get some of my stinky laundry done. These are things I have been avoiding along with staying away from people.

After my first post yesterday, I received a comment from Thomas. This was my first contact or any type of conversation with anyone for over 2 weeks. Thanks Thomas!

Well off to do a few tasks. (These tasks are menial to most people, but I've been having problems of motivation and being frightened of human contact.)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Seattle Rehab Programs

I've already made a couple of attempts to gain access to rehabilitation programs in Seattle by emailing the City Team Ministries and The Compass Center . Both of these organization have christian based programs which I found through a Seattle.gov search. I'm not sure what kind of response I'll receive since I'm not living on the streets in Seattle, but I believe this may be a step int the right direction. (Currently living on the streets of Salt Lake City.)

I also found another program that may be of interest called Fare Start, who educates those of us who are unfortunate and recovering from the past of drugs and alcohol. I think this would be great in providing me or others the opportunity to learn a trade. (I haven't had a steady job last longer than 1 year in the last 30 years.)

I looked at the weather report today and found that I shouldn't wake up to snow for the rest of the week. I do have a couple of problems tonight and that is trying to get into my camp without others spotting my trail and hoping that my bag didn't soak itself through while being in the stuff sack. I do have some dry clothes in a locker at the University and will dress warm just to be prepared for a possible soggy sleeping bag.

Man, this writing and learning how to change the Blogger template has actually helped me gain some self esteem today. I may even trundle into the city tomorrow to check my mail and find out if there are any day labor jobs.

The hardest part for the last few days has been trying to think positive and get myself out of this depressed state of mind.

In Despair

Not sure where I'm headed with this yet but hope it’s in the direction of turning my life over to a new start.

After 30 plus years of alcohol abuse and living on the edge of totally losing meaning of life, I'm going to try and change it. Shit, it’s been only an uphill battle and now I'm not sure where it's headed.

I'm living outside on the hillside, homeless, above Salt Lake City. Today I found myself covered with nearly 4 inches of snow, but still warm in my sleeping bag. I really don't know where to turn, but I figure any change of direction will be a plus.

I've really burnt tons of bridges during my years and when I stop to figure out who my friends are, I find myself not able to think of one. I'm contemplating going into a long term rehabilitation program but not sure where to go. Today I'm looking at Seattle as a chance to gain a fresh start with the possibility of God entering into my life. Man this whole view may change in just a few hours after I start researching where to go and where to start at.

I hope to add daily posts here about how and where my life is going. Yea, kinda like those reality shows everyone watches. (What a waste, if you want a reality show become acquainted with your neighbors!) If you have suggestions about where to go for help or are able to help me get into a program in the Seattle area please leave me a comment.