Abandon The Ship?

I got back in town last night from my trip to Saint George, Utah and was really wore out. The business conference I attended was a real barn burner and has gotten my hopes up that a purpose in my life is now being developed. There was over 1500 people that attended and most were believers in Christ. The business deals with the largest online shopping site and how to become a part of it and most talked how God and is playing the major role in their new business development. On Sunday they even had a service before the leadership meeting where more than 25 people step forward and accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior. This brought tears to my eyes as I watched these souls being renewed. I feel that this new opportunity will enable me to help others find God and to strengthen my trust and belief in Him while developing my purpose and character.

God is still really testing me, I haven't received my day planner and contents from whoever found it and still pray that they'll do the right thing. My greatest loss was a photo my grandparents had sent for Christmas, because it was the only one I've had for over 3 years and I enjoyed opening the day planner just to remember them. Oh yea, the money, well that can be replace along with my ID, social security card and other important papers.

Today I found myself trying to get into an apartment. I have found a dorm style room just accross the street from the university, that would really fit my current needs for 6-12 months. I have tried to contact Pastor Andy but still haven't heard back from him. I know he just returned from a vacation and I'm sure I'll hear something soon.

The rest of the day was one test after another. I tried to get into my PayPal account but I'm being rejected and after contacting the main office they were still unable to allow me access. I changed my password recently and its not working, then when I tried to use the ID verification form it rejected my info. Customer support now is requiring me to fax something that has my current address on it. Well, I can't get my mail without an ID at either of the places I use for an address. I went to get an ID and they also are requiring me to bring in something recently mailed to me. I've explained my homelessness to both PayPal and the Utah drivers license division but have been left out in the cold. I've also been contacted about new jobs, but again I'm unable to get a job without ID and a social security card. Oh and the final object to be turned upside down was my camp. Some person came in and went through all of my belongings leaving most of it lay out in the elements during our last snow storm to get soaked. I'm not sure if my new warm sleeping bag will dry out by tonight but I do have a light summer one (I took with me this weekend) that I'll try to get by with. I guess the old saying, "When it rains it pours", holds true for my current situation.

Does this mean I'm going to abandon the ship?

NO WAY!!!!!!!!

I still am praying and staying in God's word. I know this is all happening because He wants to test my faith and trust in Him. Yea, it can be real hard at times, especially today as my stomach has been tied in knots all day along with disorientation and confusion.

A little music from Steven Curtis Chapman, "God is God", reminds me that I'll never fully understand all that He does and why He does it, but if I just remain steadfast in trust and faith for Him, that my life will be okay.

A Great Birthday Party

This past weekend was filled with love, joy, friendship, and miracles. My new found love for Jesus has given me a new birth in life filled with love and hope.

On Sunday I volunteered to serve at K2 The Church where I was able to meet many of the brothers and sisters who attend there regularly. K2 offered 4 services throughout the day and I was privileged to serve at all 4 services, greeting those that attended the services. The message for the day was "All I Want For Christmas Is... A Miracle", and each time I listened, I was able to gain more and more love for God. Having the opportunity for new life with God has opened many doors for me in the past month and all of them have been filled with love and care.

During 2 of the services I took a seat in the lounge area that contains a pool table, climbing wall, foose ball, and a coffee bar. I sat in one of the comfortable lounge chairs to watch the service on one of the many TV screens available. While watching the services 2 gentleman also took advantage of the relaxing chairs and the conversations began. I was blessed by the Lord with love and understanding from Norm and Bill along with some guidance on this new journey that I have begun. It was awesome how the Lord was working on that day and I was truly seeing miracles happen.

I had no plans for Christmas when, Andy, a pastor and spiritual leader for K2, ask me if I would like to join his family along with others who attend K2 for Christmas dinner, which I accepted. Andy picked me up on Christmas afternoon and off we went to the home of Brian and Mary where we joined their family and friends for a great celebration of Jesus' birthday. Yep, we even had a birthday party for Jesus, that included a cake inscribed with "Happy Birthday Jesus".

In my former years of Christmas, I always found myself being reserved and not partaking much with guests, but on this day I found myself feeling so loved and accepted that mingling and conversing was very easy, just as everyday is now since turning my life over to the Lord. You see, I don't need to lie or deceive others into being accepted and love, because I know that God and his family all love me. This is something that I really never experienced in the past, and man, it is just awesome.

Being reborn has brought many miracles during the past month and a half and this weekend was not to be without. The biggest miracle for me was LOVE.I had many people during the weekend just walk up and give me a hug and tell me that they loved me, and these were from people I've never met before. To me this was God showing me how much he loves and cares for each and everyone of his children. Another miracle that is still in the process is the offering of an apartment. Tomorrow I will start my search for a new warm place to rest my head which has been offered to me by some of my new family. I was so grateful for this offer that throughout the night I found myself waking and thanking our Lord for this opportunity.

I'm headed off to work now with one of the largest smiles and warmest feelings about my new journey which is all possible because of the birth of Jesus Christ, who's birthday party I attended yesterday.

Shivering Sweet

Welcome to Utah and just hang around because the weather will change in just a few minutes.

Yep, its a proven fact. Yesterday saw temps reaching close to 60 degrees during the day, but by 5pm all had changed and temps dropped with snow falling. I noticed today a weather alert had been issued for a heavy snow warning from today until the morning tomorrow. This morning was the coldest I've been since the winter has started, I just can't seem to warm up and stop shivering, even though the temps aren't that bad.

Yesterday when I went to work at 4pm and the temps had started to drop, I felt that I wasn't dressed or prepared for it. Well, I was real fortunate last night during my job of parking cars and directing traffic the supervisor put me in the "Summer Garage". As the old Jackie Gleason would of said, "How SWEEEET it is!". Yea, the Lord was looking out for me. Nope, there are no beaches or palm trees here, but it was a heated parking garage. The good news is that the job will last through the holidays and I should be able to obtain at least 40 hours next week. Putting faith in Jesus Christ is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Today I'll attend a breakfast buffet served out at St. Vincent DePaul Center, run by Catholic Community Services. This is a great meal normally consisting of eggs, biscuits and gravy, sometimes some fruit and of course some type of sweet roll. The great thing here is that you can keep going back for more. The thing I don't understand the most is that many people choose not to go. I'll try to get some pics here.

Yesterday's photos, well that a different story and real short. They just didn't come out good or I forgot to save them. Oh well, I'm still learning everday, and actually I'm still what I will call, "Wet behind the ears" when it comes to being a child of God also.

I got back into The Purpose Drive Life reading and yesterday was Day 15, "Formed for God's Family". My understanding here is that God wants all to become part of His family because He loves us all. I can't remember what verse it is but I'm thinking of one that says something like, "If you do not know love, you do not know God, because God is love." God loves us all and he wants to have a relationship with us all and through our faith in Jesus, God becomes our Father. Being a child of God is such an honor, we are blessed with other great brothers and sisters, along with other great treasures, the most important being eternal life. I really liked this chapter and it has brought me to understand that treating each other as brother and sister is important. One thing that came to mind here is that some of our family is lost so it is our job to go out and give them a map or plant a seed to help them out.

You know here I am without many worldly possessions, but yet I'm able to walk down the street and hold my head up and smile, sometimes that smile is huge and giggly like and sometimes can be barely seen, but its there just as long as I'm thinking about the Lord.

I'm posting this from the downtown City Library so I won't be able to share any music today. The UofU went on its break yesterday so hours are limited there during the weekends (Sat. only and for 3.5 hours) and shortened on weekdays. This will go until Jan 8th, when the spring semester starts.

Hope you all have a great weekend and I'll be back sometime Monday, the good Lord willing.

Enjoying The Moment

Its late and I'll need to get some rest for work tomorrow so will just post a shorty.

Today was Day 14 in The Purpose Driven Life, the topic was,"When God Seems Distant". I actually knew there will come a time that God will test my faith by leaving me to decipher my true feelings of God. Right now I'm just going to enjoy being the infant and having God answer many of my prayers, for I know this time is short before He puts me to a real test.

I believe even during my tests from God, that he'll still be there cheering me on or trying to point me in the right direction. I may not recognize these moments, but I hope that I'll put a big smile on His face, just as He does mine today when I'm puzzled.

Tonight's music is from Tree63, the song, "A Million Lights", is just what I view each night as I trudge towards my camp to grab some shut eye. During this walk, I reflect on what God has given me and what I have given Him. I pray for those who are in need and ask for guidence for my life.

A Crisp Fresh Start

Waking up with a dusting of light powdery snow on the sleeping bag and tarp and the awe inspiring alpenglow gave me the hint that God was smiling down upon me. The cold (10 degrees) squeaky walk from camp helped me to focus on what a awesome world God created for us to enjoy.

I just wanted to thank everyone who has been praying for my welfare and continued walk with Jesus. Through these prayers and continued discipline of doing God's will, my life has been jammed full of happy moments. This is just the beginning of a wonderful journey with God, which has actually been less stressful even though being homeless.

My question for today to others is; "How many conversations have you had with God today?"

I have a day filled with responsibility to make my living and work conditions more comfortable. So, I'm off on a thrift shopping adventure and cost estimate for the New Path sandwich board.

I needed a song to keep in my head during my shuffle around the city so I stopped here at the UofU library to find one. It will be nice when I'm able to have one of those MP3 players so I can carry this music with me along with some of the great christian podcasts available. (People tend to give me weird looks when I'm trying to sing, whistle or hum my songs and I can't say if I blame them, music talent is not one of God's blessings for me.) Audio Adrenaline's, "Get Down" gives me that up beat and moving lyrics that will put my head and mind with Him during the day, even during the trying times of having to deal with impatient holiday shoppers. Oh yea, check it out, in the lyrics they state; "To live your life, you've got to loose it, and all of the loosers get a crown".

Where else can you surrender and actually come out as the winner?



Have a great day!!

No Sleep But Still Going

After a night of no sleep due to the weather conditions (snow and wind), I attempted to get out for work through the day labor agency, but with no success. With a day that was to be filled with snow again, many construction sites closed or cut back their workforce for the day. This was day 2 without work, but all was not lost. I talked with the main job dispatcher and she stated that it was good to see me back and not to worry, a work assignment will be awaiting for me in the morning.

Most work through this agency is in Park City, which is a ski resort area and now buried beneath 2-3 feet of snow, so you can guess what I'll be doing. I didn't have the right clothes for being outside in the elements for scooping snow, so off I went on another panhandling adventure. This time people were much more accepting of my situation. After about 4 hours I had received a great winter jacket, plenty of warm smiles and greetings, prayers, Taco Bell burritos and tacos (stood near Taco Bell),a warm blanket to use with my cold sleeping bag (will be put to use tonight) and a wonderful donation from a 10-13 year old boy.

The young boy's gift just floored me, and once again the water started to roll from my eyes. When he handed me the money, I thanked and wished him happy holidays, while also acknowledging the two adults with him. One of the adults stated, "The gift is from my boy and it is he's money and idea". Wow, I have such admiration for this child and I'm sure the Lord had a smile from ear to ear.

The day was a success in preparing for tomorrow's work, and I owe it all to God for delivering everything that was needed. This was a real lesson once again in trusting in the Lord for exactly what the situation required.

I stated before that I wouldn't be likely to panhandle again, but the need was there and I felt more comfortable about it today. God had put me to this test to see how I would react. Again I handed nearly every person who helped a slip of paper thanking them and inviting them to this blog. I didn't count how many I printed up, but when I handed the last slip out everything I needed was at my side, when I realize what just had happened a tingle ran throughout my body.

I want to thank everyone who trusted me and helped me out today, you were my love from God.

I say, " Praise you Lord, because this day just strengthened by love and faith in you 10 fold."

Today is Day 10 in The Purpose Driven Life, and the topic was "The Heart of Worship". The opening sentence is "The heart of worship is surrender". The first words that came to mind were; losing, unsuccessful, and defeat. I thought, "Man, surrendering is just giving up and watching your opponent take all of the glory and the trophy." then it came to me, "Hey, now wait a minute, that last thought did have part of what God was expecting me to do".

God wants us to surrender our self seeking and satisfying ways to become our true selves and allowing Him all of the Glory. We can do this by being obedient to God and doing what is ask of ourselves.

Well, this is one thing I thought I'd never be able to do, but yet, today it is exactly what I'm doing. I may be homeless but my life is beginning to have some meaning to it.

I always had the belief of being at the center of attention and needing to stay there, but lately by putting God there it has taken a huge load off of me and actually relaxed me.

Today I say, "Go ahead God take all of me because I'm yours. I no longer want control of this vessel, it's all up to you. I tried it my way and it didn't work!"

I need to grab some zzzzzzzzzzzzzz's before I hit the keyboard with my head.

My Song of The Day

Mercyme puts it just like it is with me, "So Long Self".

A Purpose in 40 Days?

I found a book that friends had given to me last year, A Purpose Driven Life, written by Rick Warren. I have never put forth the effort to actually read and utilize this book in the past, but as of today and with God's help, I will commit the next 40 days of my life to discovering God's purpose for my life. Each day I will share this journey here.

Today's the start and the first sentence is probably the most important one in life, "It's not about you." Yes, we are here for Him and it isn't all about Scott. This is a thought that I will ponder on today. It has always been, "What will I get out of this?" Changing my ways to put God's way first is a whole different outlook and I'm sure it will take some time, but hey doing it my way sure didn't work.

I hope to be adding some cartoons here from an artist Jeff Larson and The Back Pew. Jeff does some great work so check the site out.

My song of the day is from Steele Croswhite and The Rock Church Band. They are from here in Salt Lake City and you can hear them at The Rock Church on some nights. The song Completely is very fitting for me today. If you visit The Rock Church or buy a CD, let them know that homeless Scott sent ya.

In Despair

Not sure where I'm headed with this yet but hope it’s in the direction of turning my life over to a new start.

After 30 plus years of alcohol abuse and living on the edge of totally losing meaning of life, I'm going to try and change it. Shit, it’s been only an uphill battle and now I'm not sure where it's headed.

I'm living outside on the hillside, homeless, above Salt Lake City. Today I found myself covered with nearly 4 inches of snow, but still warm in my sleeping bag. I really don't know where to turn, but I figure any change of direction will be a plus.

I've really burnt tons of bridges during my years and when I stop to figure out who my friends are, I find myself not able to think of one. I'm contemplating going into a long term rehabilitation program but not sure where to go. Today I'm looking at Seattle as a chance to gain a fresh start with the possibility of God entering into my life. Man this whole view may change in just a few hours after I start researching where to go and where to start at.

I hope to add daily posts here about how and where my life is going. Yea, kinda like those reality shows everyone watches. (What a waste, if you want a reality show become acquainted with your neighbors!) If you have suggestions about where to go for help or are able to help me get into a program in the Seattle area please leave me a comment.