Another Homeless Struggle

Well, no home yet. It seems that having no rental history for the last three years is slamming the doors on me, and the market here is very demanding.

On Valentines Day I've been ask to help serve a dinner for the ladies who are staying a the shelter. It'll be great to share God on this night and I hope the women will enjoy the meal and love that will be shared with them. I'll also be speaking on Thursday night at a local Lions Club dinner, about their Gift of Sight program. It will be an honor to share with them how much the new eye sight has changed my life and other also.

I do have a possible place to move to this weekend. A guy has just came back from a mission in Russia and he emailed me a couple days ago stating that it may be possible to move into his basement for a few months. I'll be contacting him later on today and pray that this maybe a new place to rest my head.

Today I'm listening to Switchfoot and believing that salvation is here and that I no longer need to run from this life but just embrace it along with Jesus.

Homeless But Not Lost

Today is one of my down and depressed days, feeling lonely and unloved. The one who is showing me love and guiding me through this day, God, is giving me the strength to pick up my head and continue on this journey. I really don't know where this path is leading me, but as long as I have the Lord, I will not get lost.

Today will be Day 3 in The Purpose Driven Life and I hope to post about it later. Last night I spent 2 hours reading John and soaking up what I had read before and never took to heart. This time I could actually visualize some of the passages and was able to connect with them. It actually put a smile on my face to know that He is showing me the way and I'm willing to accept it this time around.

I have been watching the weather each day, so I can prepare for any rain or snow. The last few days they've predicted no precip for atleast 10 days. Well today low and behold, the forecast for Turkey Day is rain and then turning colder with snow expected early next week. It looks like I'll need to find some kind of protection besides the leaky tarp I now have. I spotted a dumpster yesterday with loads of plastic sheets in it, I hope that when I find it today that the plastic is still there.

Digging around for new music today I came accross a video from John William Schlitt. This guy had played with (I'm dating myself.) a band in the 70's called Head East. (The Head East era was well known to me because one of the back-up vocals, Dale Krantz-Rossington, went to school just down the road from me in Indiana.) He then went onto a well known christian band in 1986 called Petra. It's so awesome to see the old rockers that changed their ways. John's song "Show Me The Way" is really fitting for may day. I hope you enjoy it.

This You Tube thing rocks.

Hmmm, I'm Not An Accident

The second day in The Purpose Driven Life, You Are Not An Accident, is an eyeopener for me. Many times throughout the years I had contemplated that I was never met to be here. After my mother had left me and took my brother with her when I was 4, and when asking questions why, I received the shrug. Struggling with addictions, depression and emotional confusion, I had believed I actually was not suppose to be here on earth.

In the past couple of years friends have been trying to explain that God has a purpose for me, but it had been hard to comprehend. The toughest part was Love, and loving myself and God. I truly didn't know what love was. After many years of never being told or even hearing the word love, the word had no meaning. I read 1 John 4:8 "Who ever does not love does not know God, because God is love." and it confirms the main reason why I couldn't love anyone or myself.

During the last few years of my life, I have been wandering with no purpose. I had thought that I had to make everyone happy and to like me, which caused me to be untruthful many times. I felt that I needed to accomplish every goal I had set, and that if I didn't I was a failure. Man, I was just setting myself up for failure. Now, I'm trying each day to live for what God wants me to do, and not for what I think everyone expects me to do. It's a tough change and will take some time, but each day I use this concept, it becomes easier.

God guides his leadership

Man, I almost forgot. Another great story in the USA Today was concerning the Salvation Army's chief on a mission and who guides him on his leadership. It was a unique article in the Executive Suite USA Today Money section. If only many executives would take heed to the words of wisdom spoken by Israel Gaither about how to avoid scandals. Does Enron come to mind?

Gaither begins each day with a prayer.