What Drives Your Life?

The 3 day in The Purpose Driven Life is asking me what my life is currently driven by. When I stop and view where I'm at and how I got here, I think "Man, you've been wandering around just trying to please and impress everyone around you". My life has always been about gaining approval from everyone, even those who I didn't know. As it says in Matthew 6:24 - "No one can serve two masters".

Who am I fooling when I thought I could please everyone? It is God that I need to please because He is the one that will be judging me. This chapter was asking me what I've known for sometime now, but never knew or had the strength to change it.

I'm looking forward to getting on with the book but I'll do as it asks and take it one day and chapter at a time. Hey, kinda like AA. I've already started to narrow down the things in my life that are actually pushing me to the insane edge and have started to focus on this new journey with God.

I've been working on learning website publishing and have taken it to include a site with christian rock videos called what else "God Rock Videos". Yea, I like rock and it's a great way for me to focus and get through my day. Hope you get a chance to visit it.

Tomorrow I think there is a dinner at the Utah Jazz's basketball venue the formally known as the Delta Center, which has changed to the EnergySolutions Arena that I'll try to visit. Throughout the next couple of days the thanksgiving feasts for the needy are bountiful.

Cold Homeless Night

Wow what a cold night last night. The temps dropped into the low 20's and I spent the night without a sleeping bag. I was only out in it for about 4 hours but it was a real BRRRRR!

I haven't received a response from either of the Seattle programs I contacted, but that may take some time. I did receive an email from a old AA buddy who was concerned about my well being. Is that a work of God?

I will work on getting myself to a AA meeting this week even though I despise them.

My main concern is becoming well and having a chance to visit my grandparents soon. They rasied me from the age of 4 and they're in their 90's. The last I talked with them (last week), my granny was unable to hear me on the phone and my grandfather was having a hard time remembering much. I know that time is short and being able to see them before they pass on is of great concern to me. I haven't seen them in 7 years. (that hurts)

I will be going to check my mail today and try to get some of my stinky laundry done. These are things I have been avoiding along with staying away from people.

After my first post yesterday, I received a comment from Thomas. This was my first contact or any type of conversation with anyone for over 2 weeks. Thanks Thomas!

Well off to do a few tasks. (These tasks are menial to most people, but I've been having problems of motivation and being frightened of human contact.)